male-bonding through masturbation

topic posted Wed, March 3, 2010 - 9:54 AM by  Unsubscribed
I don't identify as "gay". I am a man who is sexually attracted to other men.

I have noticed that there is great vulnerability and warmth of heart in engaging in masturbation over the phone with other men who are simply kind and honest. It affects the reaction of the penis to be real with another guy, to talk about whatever crosses the mind while also being aware that you are both stroking your own penis but not necessarily pushing towards the orgasm in a hurried way.

I have done this kind of phone stroking/talking a few times and it brings me to a point of man to man honesty that I really think is good as well as important. Eventually I come to orgasm but the heart and penis interactive warmth and pleasure is actually better than the intense orgasm I usually have.
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  • Unsu...

    Re: male-bonding through masturbation

    Wed, March 3, 2010 - 2:21 PM
    I agree I don't identify as gay either but find the male bonding aspect of man to man masturbation nice, just enjoying each others masculinity in a way that a woman doesn't really understand. .......a different Tim
  • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

    Tue, May 18, 2010 - 6:47 AM
    We also do not identify as gay at all... but we have definitely bonded over man-to-man masturbation!
    • Unsu...

      Re: male-bonding through masturbation

      Wed, July 28, 2010 - 12:55 AM
      Really?????????? You butt hump each other but your not Gay????????? I'm confused?
      • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

        Wed, July 28, 2010 - 9:29 AM
        This is a phenominon that I find facinating. I see it all around me, guys who dream about a one time encounter that they want to reinact, guys who like to play with other guys but have girlfriends or wives, or guys who sneak around to adult bookstores to get blown and jack a guy off, yet profess to be straight.

        This has led me to believe that the percentage of bi men, to some extent, is much larger than previously believed. I feel that a majority of men, perhaps as many as 70 percent, are to some degree bisexual. Whether they act on it or not.

        It's our society that disallowes them to own up to it, or even fully recognize the fact that they are, by definition, bisexual. If society were more open about sexuality, and if there weren't this huge negativity towards men loving one another, I think you'd see many more men being able to admit to how they feel.

        Take a look at the most manly of magazines. The ads with men, such as for colognes, underwear and clothing, feature drop-dead gorgeous men, yet they are appealing to men. That's just another example.

        Also, men don't seem to understand the definitions. Bisexuality means that you are attracted to men as well as women. You don't have to act on it. It doesn't have to be 50-50. And you don't have to live your whole life feeling this attraction.

        Finally, most don't seem to understand the fluidity of sexuality. It's not uncommon for a person, man or woman, to feel more attracted to the same sex for a period of time, and then change to an attraction for the opposite sex for a while. I've known several guys who identify as bi. They all go thru times when I hear them whine about how they need to find a guy to hook up with. Then, they go for periods where they only sleep with women. And what's interesting is sometimes they make the switch without having slept with t guy; so it's not like an itch that's been scratched to make them feel more attracted to the other sex.

        So cut them some slack, trouble. WE all know what they are ; )
        • Unsu...

          Re: male-bonding through masturbation

          Wed, July 28, 2010 - 11:01 AM
          There is also the confusion and conflation of an entire experience (being gay or gayness) with a sexual behavior. Being gay is much more to me than just who I have sex with. This is also true for many gay men that I know. The sexual part of being gay is merely one of the physical aspects. There are also mental, emotional, spiritual and communal aspects that are largely unknown to most people and hardly ever talked about. I feel gayness as a call to deeper and deeper exploration, not of my sexual attraction, but to the larger experience of gayness. I submit there is a spectrum and some may only experience same sex attraction, but others like myself are exploring the more hidden and mysterious aspects. What we need to do is liberate gayness from it's small box of same sex attraction. Then people will be able to see that having same sex attraction doesn't mean you're gay.
        • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

          Sat, September 5, 2015 - 8:40 PM
          Great points. There are many more ways of identifying beside the monosexual normative. No need for men or anyone to be constrained to the narrow definitions of terms such as gay or straight. We are a society that is so fearful of male to male intimacy and so limited in how men are allowed to express themselves sexually, emotionally or romantically. I'm speaking primarily of bisexual and pansexual erasure that often tries to say a man is gay because he has had a sexual experience with another man or has had many. I'm sorry if a man is with a woman and he likes men too that makes him at the very least bisexual not gay.

          There are also such things as romantic styles where a person may be romantically inclined, to what ever to degree, to one gender or another without necessarily being sexually inclined to said gender. Sexual identity should be seen as a greyscale not a set of fixed points one is destined to stand between forever more.

          No one has the right to limit how much or how little one can identify with any term or label.
  • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

    Sun, December 5, 2010 - 5:13 PM
    I love masturbating with other men. I have done so with men that identify as gay, straight, Bi, and at least one that calls himself a "sexual being".
    All of them are great. I have come to realize that there are many straight men that really have no interest in other men sexually, but are very turned on by men having sexual experiences. It is not the man turning him on, it is the sexual energy of the situation. I have also seen some of these same men become very confused, sometimes even guilty or upset, after the act is finished. It is clear to me these men, as some of the responders here as well, do not recognize the difference. Men as a species respond quickly to sexual energy. We can create deep bonds and connections in this energy. Sometimes the energy is enough to bring us into it without all the trappings of our regular sexual interest. Ask any gay man that has a child, or an ex wife. We do not always have logical explanations . I for one encourage and celebrate man man sexuality in the form of masturbation where ever I encounter it.
    • Unsu...

      Re: male-bonding through masturbation

      Mon, December 6, 2010 - 3:29 PM
      I have bonded with so many men in Sacramento, it was unreal!! I also joined a nudist club and bonded even more. I'm a bondable person. LOL Masturbation is fun, exciting, sensual, erotic, and other names not thought of. I treat a man penis as a piece of art!! Do great work and you get rewarded.
    • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

      Mon, June 4, 2012 - 8:39 PM
      ". Men as a species respond quickly to sexual energy. We can create deep bonds and connections in this energy. Sometimes the energy is enough to bring us into it without all the trappings of our regular sexual interest. Ask any gay man that has a child, or an ex wife. "

      yes, very good explanation!
  • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

    Mon, October 3, 2011 - 10:26 AM
    My friend, I could not agree with you more. There's a special spiritual intensity that comes from that vulnerability. It makes the entire experience hightened. It's the open honesty of the exchange that makes it so special.
    • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

      Mon, October 3, 2011 - 9:30 PM
      absolutely. i think its more intimate to bond through masturbation than it is through more traditional sex acts between men.
      • Unsu...

        Re: male-bonding through masturbation

        Mon, October 10, 2011 - 10:29 AM
        I really do agree with you Tim and Scott, masturbation to me is the ultimate way to bond and feel close to another man. Through masturbation you can be open, relaxed, and as involved as you want (by which I mean you can sit back and watch each other or you can masturbate each other). I have met my partner through masturbation and made loads of close masturbation friends through sharing in this way.
  • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

    Tue, October 11, 2011 - 6:24 AM
    Males bond through competition and sex. Its primal..its in our DNA. Anyone with a penis knows the urge to stroke the need to CUM. Its not a gay thing or a straight thing ...its a GUY thing. Most men are bi...attracted by the sexual. Energy of a brother cock. See at the gym all the married guys with rings on their fingers stroking in the steamroom after workout. Fulfilling the needs of the Dick. Men being men. THE BONER CANNOT BE DENIED. Feel closest to my buds my brothers and my dad when sharing the bate. Seeing thier toes curl teeth clenched head thrown back as they share the very essence of thier manhood with ropes of manseed.
  • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

    Wed, October 19, 2011 - 5:40 AM
    Masturbation with other men is a mind-blowing, spiritual experience! Long sessions with a man (men) is almost like being in a highly charged church service (not that I go to church). It is sexual. It is spiritual. It is the ultimate male-bonding experience.
  • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

    Mon, February 20, 2012 - 3:34 PM
    I'm a little late to this part but thought I would post my thoughts on the subject.

    The only time that I have bonded with other guys through masturbation was when I was a kid a experimenting with other friends. It did create a bond then. Not sure what effect it would have now. I'm a bi male and have had sexual encounters with guys, but those encounters have been through the typical hook up type scenario. As far as I know all my friends are straight and I would never even imagine approaching the topic of masturbating together with them.

    That said though, I do believe that mutual J/O can be a a great bonding experience with another man. Especially one that you already are friends with.

    If this tribe is still active, it would be great to hear more comments on this subject.
  • Unsu...

    Re: male-bonding through masturbation

    Sat, March 3, 2012 - 5:21 PM
    I also identify as a sexual person or a seeker of pleasure. I simply enjoy seeing, sharing and being part of other men enjoying all their body has to offer. So much can be gained in spending time with your cock and getting to fully know the male body. To be part of seeing another male fully enjoy his body is uplifting and exciting. I have also enjoyd many time of frottage and find the feeling of one cock gliding on another cock to be very pleasureable. Only another man fully understands the enjoyment of making love to your own cock and the feeling of the orgasm. What a stress remover. Males should be taught and encouraged to masturbate from an early age.
    • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

      Mon, May 7, 2012 - 6:41 PM
      hi guys. I'm new around here. I also identify myself with everything you guys are talking about. I do wish I could have male friends with whom I can bod this way. I think it would give me so much more peace of mind.
      • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

        Wed, September 11, 2013 - 6:30 AM
        I call it the glory of Cock! There is nothing more erotic or beautiful than a Hard COCK! :)
        Pleasuring Cock is a Male thing best shared with other Males.
        OMG, How i love spending time adoring my Beauty! :-)
  • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

    Sat, September 14, 2013 - 1:24 PM
    Until I watched a documentary called "The Butch Factor" (and later, The Adonis Factor) I got really confused about this too. I'm "gay" in that I enjoy intimate company with other men and a well-built body pops a happy boner in my pants (if I'm wearing them!), but I don't do the usual "gay" stuff like going at circuit parties, raves, or love taking it up in the ass.

    Someone mentioned here about men going through a real mood swing as soon as they orgasm. Funny, because I'm one of those; when my cannon is loaded, I'm a wild animal next to a man I like. But as soon as I'm done, I get uncomfortable; the reverse has happened to me more than once, too (felt like a real sex toy, as I hadn't cummed yet and the dude was all like, "You have to leave now. I'm busy."). I had to learn how to deal with this because I'm not the kind of asshole that just bulldozes through anyone's feelings...

    Even among my straight friends, I like it when we get naked and just hang out. It's great.
  • Re: male-bonding through masturbation

    Wed, December 4, 2013 - 10:28 AM
    I too have found that masturbation with other men is an intense form of male-bonding. I love the sexual feelings of mutual masturbation, but the openness and honesty between us is equally important to me. In our society, many of us men have opinions and life experiences that we usually do not feel free to share (or dare not express!). When we are masturbating together, those barriers come down. The experience confirms that we all are very much alike, with more things in common than we would have thought. I love to make new male friends via cam or phone stroking
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    Re: male-bonding through masturbation

    Mon, March 24, 2014 - 10:23 PM
    I've never done this but would love to try it. I'm pretty guarded sexually (despite having lots of sex) and want to change that. I feel like I'm missing this kind of connection with other guys.
  • Unsu...

    Re: male-bonding through masturbation

    Fri, October 23, 2015 - 12:32 PM
    I really have no sexual interest in other males. However, I do find masturbating with other males quite erotic. While I have no intention of touching another guy, I have been fondled and even masturbated by other males--and, it was very enjoyable. Not only that, I would welcome more of the same. It's all in the pleasure derived from stimulating my cock to ejaculate. Then I'm done--for a little while anyway.

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