A Guide to being Male's topics - tribe.net

San Diego Man Loves Oral Tops

Oral — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:38:39 GMT

Hi. Are you in San Diego? I am very much into endowed oral tops (my blog: http://oralcockworship.blogspot.com).
letmeworshipit@yahoo.com

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Gay Bathhouses,Which one is Best?

Jake — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 17:30:26 GMT

Seattle has three Gay Men's Bathouses and each one is Unique.
As we Gay Guys all know,the onslaught of the AIDS Pandemic in the mid 80's closed most of them,but a few "Survived".

"Club Seattle" is a "boi bath" young pretty buffed bois,struttin their stuff.
"Basic Plumbing" is a maze of glory holes..one walks around clothed and..sticks it in a hole.
"Club Z" Is the Pacific Northwest's oldest Gay Men's Bathouse(1975-) It's a "Classic" Gay Baths with rooms,lockers,and lots of places to either do it in pvt,or in huge orgies.It's crowd is a mix of old and young with many different sexual interests.
Lets hear from Tribe Guys about what is their favorite Gay Bathouse,and also from our Straight members on wich is their favorite "Hedonisitc" Hangout!

posted in A Guide to being Male - 16 replies

Orgasmic Mastery: A Course for Men (FREE Teleseminar June 15th)

destingerek — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 20:40:24 GMT

Hey Tribe Community,

After months of preparation, (or 15 years, depending on your outlook), I am thrilled to be launching, Orgasmic Mastery: A Course for Men.

This is not specifically taoist. As I am not specifically taoist. I have been influenced by taoist approaches to sex, tantra, quodoshka, and a wide variety of western sexological-based approaches.

Imagine being able to have full choice over when and even IF you ejaculate.

Imagine having Full Body Orgasms that rock your body and soul.

Imagine having Multiple Non-ejaculatory Orgasms coursing through your entire body, culminating in a powerful ejaculatory orgasm that far surpasses anything you ever even dreamed was possible!

Orgasmic Mastery (A Course for Men) is a home-based learning course designed to help You:

* learn to have more choice around when and if you ejaculate;
* experience Full Body Orgasm;
* understand the separation between ejaculation and orgasm;
* experience Non-Ejaculatory Orgasms;
* and even experience the holy grail of Male Multiple Orgasms.

Here's how the program works. You will receive:

* A 12-week series of home-study online video instruction. I share ALL my best material with you, which I've learned and gathered over the past decade
* Weekly homework assignments. These are usually 15-30 minutes of exercises a day, and if you do them each day, you WILL be a badass lover by the end of the course. It's as simple as that.
* Access to a members-only VIP online forum, where you will be able to share your experience with other men, and get feedback from the other members of the course and from me
* Two (2) live group coaching calls each month where you will refine your skills, get to ask questions, talk about your concerns, experiences, and victories, and get support and advice from me and the other men in the course.

All within the container of a community of men supporting other men towards their individual goals (without the macho bullshit).

This program is not just a book.

It is meant to provide a step-by-step process that anyone can follow that will dramatically improve your sex life. And I promise that if you enroll in this course, and do the exercises, you WILL experience the benefits I've described, and likely a whole lot more.

THIS Monday (June 15th), I am hosting a FREE teleseminar for men interested in learning more.

Check it out:

www.OrgasmicMastery.com/course

I look forward to having you on the call!

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Article-Secrets of the Phallus the evolution of the human penis.

TheNewt — Wed, 06 May 2009 07:16:12 GMT

Here's an article on the male phallus and the evolution of the male penis.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=secrets-of-the-phallus

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Men's Folklore Project on "Getting Married"

Maglaurus — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 02:30:31 GMT

A little over a year ago volunteers from this group were kind enough to provide me with some important information about men’s thoughts on the folklore of autoeroticism. I’m returning now because I would like to ask a second set of questions, this time about men’s thoughts on the rituals and traditions that go into “getting married”. I’m particularly interested in hearing from men who have not been married, as the expectations of “getting married” are often far different from the reality of the experience--but men who have been/are married are invited to participate as well. Any answers group members could volunteer to the questions below would be greatly appreciated. As with my previous project, I intend to withhold all personal information that could identify participants from any write-up, summary, or presentation.

I want to ask this group a series of questions regarding traditions of marriage and find out what men think about their appointed roles and responsibilities in the act of “getting married”. By “getting married” I’m referring to traditions beginning with the proposal of marriage and leading up to the day of the wedding. I have tried to keep these questions as unbiased as possible and I definitely have an interest in hearing about men’s expectations regarding weddings of all kinds.

What is a man’s role in the tradition of “getting married”?
What are a man’s responsibilities in the tradition of proposing marriage?
--What does a man have to do before he proposes marriage?
--What does a man have to do when he proposes marriage?
What are a man’s responsibilities in the planning of his wedding?
What are a man’s responsibilities on the day of his wedding?
What are a man’s responsibilities regarding the planning of his son’s/daughter’s wedding?
What are a man’s responsibilities to male friends who are getting married?
Where do you recall learning about the roles/responsibilities of men when it comes to “getting married”?

If you have any questions or comments feel free to contact me through my tribe.net page.

Stephen Wall
Ph.D. Candidate, Department of Folklore
Memorial University, Newfoundland

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

unlocking the secrets of gay male friendship

DeanSF — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 22:55:49 GMT

okay, I'm a naif in the world of gay men, so I need some help here. I am finding it terribly difficult to meet gay men for friendship. The only men who show any interest in me at all are only interested in me for sex. So, I can get sex dates, but I can't get anybody to go to the movies or theatre with, or dinner or hanging out in the park.

The existing friends and acquaintances I have are all coupled and/or busy, and I only see them once in a great while. I would really like to make new friends, and form deeper friendships than the ones I now have. But I'm not sure how. There are millions of websites for hooking up with men. But where does one go to meet friends? I was hoping that Tribe would be a good place, but so far all the friends I've made live far away. The only ones I've met in person were or are only interested in sex.

I understand that men can be very sexually driven. I certainly am, or was. But when one is looking for the non-sexual companionship of other gay men, where does one look? How does one find it?

thanks in advance for your insights

posted in A Guide to being Male - 12 replies

California Guy Loves Oral!

Oral — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 20:37:12 GMT

http://oralcockworship.blogspot.com/

posted in A Guide to being Male - 1 reply

i know i'm getting older...

Loren — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 06:17:49 GMT

so they told me that when i got older that shit would happen...

hair would start growing in places...

so my query is...

how the heck to i get rid of nose hair???
do those nose trimmer thingers really work???

help!!!

posted in A Guide to being Male - 9 replies

age differences and relationships.

TheNewt — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 07:30:53 GMT

A gay friend and I were laughing about how heterosexuals seem to get REALLY weirded out about the idea of a relationship between two or more partners who are 5, 10, 15, or even 20 or more years apart.

Like for example I know hetero men who find it REALLY weird or gross that a 31 year old hetero guy would hit on or want a relationship with a 24 year old hetero woman. Or I find it weird that if one partner in a hetero relationship is say 5 years they are considered or viewed as being A LOT older and more mature than the younger partner, and people act as though there's a gap in generations when there's really not.

I'm glad that it's not like this in the queer world and that age differences aren't that big of a deal as they are in heterosexual society.

I'm 24 and I've been involved with men of all ages and I'm attracted to older guys. Not geriatric age or higher than 50 but guys who are in their mid/late 30s or early 40s. I also like guys that are around my age who look/act older like me. I'm into women who are around my age as I'm not into older women for the most part.

I have a friend that is 49 and he isn't a chickenhawk, he's not a Daddy (not that there's anything wrong with being a Daddy or taking that role but that's not him) and he doesn't exclusively go for younger men but he did wind up having sex with an 18 year old guy who wanted his first time having sex to be with my friend.

As long as both or all people are over 18 I don't see what the big deal is as they're consenting adults.

How do you feel about age differences and relationships with how they can relate to queer sexuality and heterosexual society?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 38 replies

Do-It-Yourself Dadding or The Self-Sufficient Sire

varianpierce — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 05:29:53 GMT

Good news for gay daddy wannabes: women are no longer necessary to produce children, thanks to Purely Penile Procreation!®
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOXnxmlEkY0&feature=related

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Zeus & Male Rites de Passage?

MacMorrighan — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 23:45:10 GMT

Howdy guys! A while back on The History Channel (though, recently, I sometimes wonder where the actual ancient history has gone on this channel!) I happened to see a program where it was mentioned that ancient Greek adolescent males would collect the trimmings of their FIRST shaving into a bowl, and sacrifice it on the Altar of Zeus as an offering. Sadly, I've not hitherto been able to substantiate this declaration. Soooo...I was wondering if anyone, here, might be aware of any ancient or academic source that I can look to. I'm also interested in any other male Rites of Passage from any other cultures, including (obviously) those from the Med. (which'll probably easier to locate) for a personal research project if anyone can think of any, as well as any associated deities. :o) Aye...it's a shame that we, in the west, have lost our particularly male-centered rites of passage! All we really have is a father teaching his son how to shave--but, not everyone recieves this; I know that I certainly didn't (I was just handed an electric razor and expected to do for myself when I was young, unlike my yunger brother whom my dad taught how to shave).

Take Care,
Wade

posted in A Guide to being Male - 3 replies

Damiana

Druben — Fri, 09 May 2008 19:31:45 GMT

Has anyone used damiana to give them that extra punch in sexual vitality? I've got some now and I had wanted to see if I could get back to steely erections like I used to have. Mine are ok, they just aren't as rock hard as they used to be. So far the only effect it has is that I am a lot more horny, and I don't really need more libido in my life.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 2 replies

fear of feeling...

DeanSF — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:37:30 GMT

Actor William H. Macy was quoted in "OK!" as saying:

"Most guys hate talking, and I don't blame them because talking leads to communication and once you communicate, you're going to start feeling things, and from there, it's a slippery slope because you're going to start experiencing life, so I try to avoid it."

Funny... but is there a kernel of truth in there?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 3 replies

Burning Man

Philip — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:23:28 GMT

Hi people Going to Burning Man from San Diego and looking for rider(s) to share gas expense. Philip in San Diego

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Circumcision is just plain stupid :(

varianpierce — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 00:53:57 GMT

How smegma serves the penis: http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/wright1/

It turns out we do have muscles in our penises, or did, 'til some of us were mutilated: http://www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/lakshmanan/

Circumcision does nothing to reduce penile cancer: http://www.cirp.org/library/disease/cancer/

posted in A Guide to being Male - 81 replies

New Member in California!

Oral — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 17:26:33 GMT

VERY orally inclined guy here loves cocky hung and cut oral tops who like to show off and get serviced. Great, fun, sexy guy here. Love bulging briefs, undergear, mesh, lycra and anything that accentuates the cock. Love taking loads too! WAY fun date. Let me hear from you. My oral only online group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CaliforniaOralM4MHook-Ups/.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Request for Assistance with Men's Folklore Project

Maglaurus — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 23:19:31 GMT

Let me start this request by saying that I am currently a Ph.D. candidate in the Department of Folklore at Memorial University, Newfoundland. As part of a central assignment for a class on Folklore Genres, I am studying the subject of beliefs, taboos, and warnings related to male masturbation and auto-genital-touching behaviors. Since the study of folklore relies on the oral transmission of knowledge from one individual to others, I am reaching out to the men I know in an effort to discuss this subject with them. Anything you can tell me regarding your experiences with the subject-matter would be greatly beneficial to my project. The contents of your replies will be treated as anonymous for the purpose of writing the paper, unless you specifically say otherwise—so your privacy is assured.

My central question for the men reading this message is: What beliefs, taboos, or warnings regarding male masturbation and/or auto-genital-touching (vernacular: “playing with yourself”) have you heard, and at what point in your life did these ideas become familiar to you?

Just to give you some examples, I’ve paraphrased some answers I’ve received here:
--When I was very young, perhaps 4 or 5, I heard that if a boy pulled on his penis too much, it would break off his body.
--When I was in junior high school I heard that frequent masturbation could lead to hairy palms and blindness, but this warning wasn’t treated as serious by the people who told it too me. These people, boys I knew in school, said it like was something people in the “old days” used to take seriously.
--When I was in high school I heard the rumor that if a man masturbated too many times in a row, the internal workings of his testicles might be damaged. The rumor also said that the evidence of the damage would be having an orgasm but not ejaculating and/or having an orgasm, but blood would come out of the penis instead of semen.
--Around the same time, in high school, I started to hear rumors that frequent masturbation could lead to perversion and insanity.

Cheers,

Stephen

p.s. Even if your answers are identical to the examples, I still want to hear your take on these experiences because, in the study of folklore, it is a very meaningful when people tell the same stories in different ways.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 6 replies

Whore Looking For A Home

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 19:23:05 GMT

Free Whore for Good Use!

posted in A Guide to being Male - 7 replies

hi

zed — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 19:12:51 GMT

looking forward to reading past posts. I am a bi guy, 47 yo, who is really questioning what it means to be a male in the US right now.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 3 replies

It's a guy thing

varianpierce — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 06:35:24 GMT

Are males born sex fiends? You decide...
Hetero: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0oclMObprA&feature=related
Homo: http://people.tribe.net/varianpierce/photos/25857139-cad4-49f4-a522-a9155435f5db

posted in A Guide to being Male - 1 reply

Men in their late 30s...what are they looking for in a woman?

najla_nef — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 18:44:46 GMT

hi,

okay guys. Have a question for you??? Guys in your 30s. Be it 30-35. What are you looking for in a woman?

thanks

posted in A Guide to being Male - 5 replies

body image, beauty and BS

redhotmuslbear — Tue, 25 Oct 2005 18:16:09 GMT

On a listserv I was just provided with this link to a bibliography on body image issues among Gay men.

http://www.vpul.upenn.edu/ohe/library/bodyimage/bibliography.htm

I'm a musclebear, and I'm never shaving a hair below my neck. Still, I enjoy the pampering and refreshment of a mani-pedi or a facial from time time. Yet, look in my cabinets at home and the closeest thing to product you'll find are an inexpensive exfoliating scrub (it also helps staunch little cuts from shaving) and aromatherapy shower gels (they mix well with my natural scent, and I never wear deodorant or cologne).

posted in A Guide to being Male - 13 replies

Eat Right for Maximum Ejaculate

varianpierce — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 00:54:26 GMT

Because more is better ;d
http://www.4-bukkake.com/eat-right.html

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Hey from a Newbie

Monster Guy — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 00:02:17 GMT

Just wanted to say "howdy" and not be a lurker. :-)

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Greetings

trinsic — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 23:23:41 GMT

Hey guys im new here, I saw this tribe browsing someone else's profile.. I do some workshops on developing our male energy with the opposite polarity. I have browsed a couple of pages of posts and have found no discussion of developing our maleness to create more attraction. Do you guys have an interest in this? or is everyone already an expert here?

I'm not trying to promote anything, im just curious about having further conversations about it.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 4 replies

Str8/bi guys might find this helpful

varianpierce — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 20:26:30 GMT

Words of wisdom from Fay Weldon, one of Britain's best-known feminists. It's advice for women who love men, and most men of any persuasion will nod our heads in agreement:

"A few words on porn. They will not be enough, I know, to convince some women that for a husband or lover to watch porn is not a matter for shock-horror.

But look at it like this: In males, the instinct for love and the need for sexual gratification overlap, but do not necessarily coincide.

If you are lucky, the needs coincide in acts of domestic love; if you are not, his head turns automatically after girls in the street or he goes to the porn sites on the computer.

He is not to be blamed. Nor does it affect his relationship with you. Love is satisfied, sex isn’t quite. Porn is sex in theory, not in practice. It just helps a man get through the day. Just accept that men are different."

You said it, sister!

A bisexual woman I used to know once said, "When stressed, men run toward sex, women run away from it." I guess she should know :)

posted in A Guide to being Male - 17 replies

(!) dtected.com "Neuron Rattling Feats of Auto Exposure"

splace — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 19:32:06 GMT

Just found this conceptual site featuring gay self-representational images found on the web...

http://dtected.com

fz

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

just curious: What music do you fuck to?

Druben — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 21:06:17 GMT

What are the most stimulating tunes that put you in the mood. Can you download some samples?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 24 replies

This is your brain on ejaculation

varianpierce — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:59:08 GMT

If they studied gay male couples, they could do twice the research in half the time and would have the answers by now.
http://www.jneurosci.org/cgi/content/abstract/23/27/9185

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Where do YOU buy your leather/toys from?

TheNewt — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 22:43:18 GMT

Like the topic says, where do YOU buy your leather/toys and other BDSM/fetish related items from?

Any places that were awesome to order from and deserve praise?

Any places that should be avoided?

I've bought butt plugs, leather cockstraps/metal cockrings, BDSM gear (leather restraints/paddles, and a leather o-ring gag), handcuffs, and vibrators from JT's Stockroom.

I like them because their staff answers emails, they ship very fast, they take mail in orders, and they answer any questions that you have that you can write to them about. Also their gear is well made and cheaper than other sites or local stores that I've been to.

Also their site has a queer friendly and knowledgeable staff. I also like that they have the EXACT sizes/measurments/dimensions of almost all of the stuff that they sell or you can email them and they'll tell you the circumference of a toy or the measurements of something.

I've heard that babeland is also a good company but I've never ordered from them but on their site they seem to have a very knowledgeable and queer friendly staff.

However, babeland does seem rather expensive to me. They want $17 for an anal douche! You can buy those for A LOT cheaper at any drugstore like Walgreens or CVS. They also want $18 for a book on anal health that you can find used on amazon/half.com

I've also never dealt with the good vibrations company but a friend of mine bought a dildo from one of their stores and he's pleased with it.

I've never ordered anything from Mr. S the leather/fetish company or stormy leather but I have bought leather cock straps made by Stormy leather and they're very well made IMO.

I've also ordered from spartacusmen and I like their leather ball stretchers and very cheap metal cockrings.

I found them to be a good company since they were very good at staying in contact and even sent me a replacement order free of charge when my original order from them got lost in the mail.

I've also ordered from 665leather and they're OK but they don't stay in contact and didn't reply to any emails I wrote and their leather gear that I ordered was OK but I could have gotten better made stuff at other sites like JT's Stockroom.

I like all of these sites and how they have very detailed descriptions of all the toys/gear that they sell and they have pictures that show you what the product that you're buying looks like.

I sometimes will buy stuff from leather vendors and and adult bookstores/sex toy stores but I try to avoid buying stuff in those places unless it's equal to, on sale, or cheaper than buying online but it usually isn't.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 5 replies

Newbie

CobaltBlue — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 23:06:29 GMT

Hi there guys! New to tribe.net and to this tribe...have enjoyed reading the posts so far and looking forward to contributing down the track. Greetings from down-under!

posted in A Guide to being Male - 1 reply

Intro to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu / Submission Wrestling Seminar in SF (THIS Weds!!!)

JessiTaran — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 10:15:18 GMT

INTRODUCTORY BRAZILIAN JIU JITSU SEMINAR

(BEGINNERS WELCOME!!!)

WHERE: K-1 Fitness, 2001 Van Ness Ave (at Jackson), San Francisco
WHEN: August 1st (THIS Wednesday!) at 7:00pm
PRICE: $20 for non-members, FREE to members of K1-Fitness

Professora Jessi Taran, (2 time winner of the US Open in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ), 1st place winner of the Arnold Schwarzenegger Classic in BOTH Brazilian Jiu Jitsu as well as submission wrestling, and currently ranked by grapplers.com as the number 1, female BJJ heavyweight in the world) will be teaching an introductory BJJ/submission wresting seminar this coming Wednesday night, at K-1 fitness in San Francisco at 7:00 pm. For almost ten years, Taran has studied under and trained with some of the most well-respected BJJ fighters in the world today, including Ralph Gracie, Renzo Gracie, David Camarillo, Ricardo de la Riva, and Sergio Silva. She is one of only FIVE American women to have ever achieved the rank of Black Belt in the art of BJJ. She also holds a Master's degree in philosophy from the Katholiek Universitat Leuven, in Belgium. She wrote her thesis on 'The Role of Courage in Women's Moral Action'.

Often referred to as 'the world's most practical martial art', Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is grappling based, combative art. Primarily focused on the 'ground game', in recent years, BJJ has won substantial notoriety due to it's unparalleled success in Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) venues such as the UFC. Like Judo (which shares a common history), no strikes or kicks are used in Jiu Jitsu. The object of a BJJ match is to achieve a dominant position and immobilize your opponent. This is done by trapping the other person in a submission hold, (usually a joint lock or a carotid artery choke) and applying just enough pressure in order to get him to 'tap out' or verbally submit.

Because of the enormous popularity of televised fight shows such as the UFC and IFL, many people think that BJJ and MMA are the same thing, or that Brazilian Jiu Jitsu's primary importance is it's functionality in winning MMA fights. While it's true that the study of BJJ is an integral element of any MMA fighter's education, it's important to remember that BJJ and MMA are NOT the same thing. Despite it's practicality and proven combat effectiveness, a BJJ match is NOT 'a fight' - it's a GAME, an ART, and a SCIENCE. Only when the art is viewed as a whole, and not just as a means to an end (i.e. : cool submission holds for MMA fights... ) can the beauty, complexity, and subtle, non-verbal, truths that lie at the heart of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, be fully understood and appreciated .

Professora Taran is the co-founder of the Open Door Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Academy in Oakland, California, where she has been teaching for the past four years. She currently teaches at both the Open Door Academy in Oakland, and also at World Jiu Jitsu in Marin. Taran's stated goal is to make the art of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu accessible to ANYONE who wants to train, regardless of age, fitness level, gender, or sexual orientation. According to Taran, 'Most BJJ instructors focus the majority of their energy on those students they think have the best chance at becoming tournament champions. Personally, I feel that if a student really wants to compete, that's fine. But if he doesn't want to compete...well...that's fine too! You do learn something from competing in tournaments, but honestly, I really don't see the karmic value of taking a bunch of really tough, athletic, guys, and turning them into really, REALLY tough, athletic, guys. Where's the challenge in THAT, you know? I myself am much more interested in taking regular people of average, or even sub-standard, athletic ability, and giving them something that they never had before, or even knew existed. Now THAT means something! I love seeing how people's lives change when they don't have to worry about feeling afraid anymore. You don't need to be 'tough' in order to be successful at Jiu Jitsu. That's the whole POINT. That's why it's so amazing!'

Aside from her many accomplishments, both as a competitor as well as an instructor, (Taran's students have placed in multiple high level BJJ and submission wrestling tournaments, including the US Open and the Pan American Games) what truly sets the Professora apart from other BJJ instructors, is her precise attention to technical detail, and her 'philosophy of control'. Says Taran, 'Despite popular misconceptions about the art, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is really NOT about injuring or hurting one's opponent; it's about controlling him. We know this because it's the ONLY martial art in which you can spar FULL FORCE, without necessarily getting injured or injuring your opponent. Of course, like any sport, injuries can happen sometimes, but only accidentally. You certainly aren't trying to hurt anyone! As a matter of fact, I believe that if you DO hurt the person you're rolling with, it's same as a loss. This is because both results are ultimately rooted in the same cause - a loss of control. In order to be able to physically control another person stronger or larger than yourself, you must first learn control of your own body. '

Professora Taran will be teaching at K-1 Fitness on a regular basis starting the second week of August.

For more information please write to: info@karate-one.net , or call (415) 474-3322

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

hey guyz

Steve — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 18:56:27 GMT

new to the tribe and enjoying reading the posts...just wanted to say "whats up!"

posted in A Guide to being Male - 1 reply

Lubes

Druben — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 13:59:54 GMT

Anyone try unconventional lubes that are esily accessable at the grocery store? I hear any oil based lube is not good on latex and things like fleshlights. What about other obtions? Do you find a wide variety mong the products offered commercially?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 2 replies

Manorexia/Men with Eating Disorders: New Tribe Started

WellnessWorks! — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 17:31:11 GMT

Hi, I hope any members who also are interested in this topic consider joining:

http://tribes.tribe.net/manorexia-menseatingdisorders

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

New M4M Tribe Member Here: Introduction 2U: C my page/ Send Add?

Merton — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 16:29:55 GMT

Hello Dear Tribe Members,

Just Wanted to Introduce Myself…
Hope you will want to see my page, send an add, and even write a testimonial:
http://people.tribe.net/d6aa2e9c-308c-4ab8-b937-d29e5f46af62

I am author, artist, illustrator, filmmaker, and photographer, Merton Parrish. I am a devotee of Priapian Spirituality (Priapus), and have a special devotion to my fellow gay, bi and str8 m4m men. I live in the midwest with my partner of eight years. I am 44 years young.

Because the M4M life and Priapian Spirituality has been such a joy to me, I am here to provide information on these things for my m4m brothers. I would like to share with you my blogs, writing, art, and the various pages I have created on the net. I hope to be of service to you, connect with you, and become friends with you here on Tribe.

I will enjoy knowing you visited my page. I would be so pleased if you would add me as a friend and write a testimonial, and hope that you will also bookmark my Tribe page, and bookmark the various pages I've listed in my links section (I think you will enjoy my regularly updated 360 and Blogger Blog in particular… http://mertonparrish.blogspot.com/ and http://360.yahoo.com/mertonparrish )

Finally, I'd be happy to chat/cam/IM/Em with you (for friendship, worship, or to answer any questions you might have about M4M life or Priapian Spirituality). Detailed contact info is below my signature…

Peace, guys!

Merton :)
*************************
Tribe page:
http://people.tribe.net/d6aa2e9c-308c-4ab8-b937-d29e5f46af62

Email:
Preferreddad@aol.com

My Y_hoo IMs:
Numeroushats2 (for camming with guys nationwide)
Numeroushats3 (for rt with Indianapolis guys/guys who visit Indianapolis)
MertonParrish (for questions re: m4m/Priapian Spirituality)

Note: If you send an add to my IM list for any of the above IMs, make sure your age, sex, and location is on your profile and 360. Ty! :)

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Will you please participate in my survey on masculinity?

Michael — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 02:34:34 GMT

I am a doctoral student seeking participants to complete a survey that explores the psychological experiences of being a man and how it influences your life. You must be a male who is 18 years of age or older

The survey will take approximately 30 minutes to complete and your participation is anonymous.

If you are interested in contributing to knowledge about how being a man impacts how you view yourself and others, please go to the following website: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=218103339703

Thank you for your help.
Michael Franco
831.480.5180
masculinitystudy@yahoo.com

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

whats your favourite erotic story site?

deluxeduck — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 22:40:18 GMT

anyone have any favourites? im reading stuff from www.lushstories.com any others people can recommend?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 6 replies

MEN STRUGGLE WITH EATING DISORDERS TOO: A chance to be heard, July 16th Focus Group, VANCOUVER

WellnessWorks! — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 20:55:43 GMT

Here's some information we hope people can benefit from.

Men and boys suffer from eating disorders too. Disorders such as bulimia, anorexia, binge eating disorders are present in males yet often unrecognized or untreated. Other problems such as depression and sustance use often coexist with the eating disorder. When men struggle with ewating disorders so do those who care about these men. Friends, families, spouses, and colleagues of men and boys with eating disorders are impacted too.

Pre-registration via phone/email is required. All inquiries will be treated strictly confidential. This focus group for men with eating disorders (present or past) is part of a larger research project. The principal investigator is Paul Gallant of Providence Health Care and the University of British Columbia.

If you are considering participating please contact: Jane Harbottle, Research Coordinator Medical Research, Eating Disorders, St. Paul’s Hospital. Telephone: (604) 682- 2344, local: 62524 or the research pager 604-205-6395. The pager will be available Monday - Friday 9am - 4pm. or email jharbottle@providencehealth.bc.ca or if you want to find out more about this research contact pgallant@providencehealth.bc.ca

PURPOSE OF THE STUDY
To better understand the perspective of males with eating disorders. The research findings will help to develop future studies and programs to support males with eating disorders.

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF PARTICIPATING IN THIS STUDY? You may benefit from sharing your experiences and hearing other people’s experiences during the focus group. We hope that the information learned from this study can be used in the future to benefit others. You will be compensated for your time.

Take Good Care,
Paul

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Mens Circles

vulcan — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 15:50:22 GMT

Years ago I helped start a couple of mens circle. It was with guys I knew
(Gay and Straight) who found a need to get togeather and talk.
The first was in responce to a yearly Womens Take BAck The Night March.

The second was a group of Gay men.

I recently got involved with
The Mankind Project
Here's a link to there Over View Site.
http://www.mkp.org/mkp.htm

I was impressed by the work they do and how seriously they take it.
Very pro women and pro gay.

This tuesday I met some men from New York who are involved with
Mens Division International.
http://mdionline.org/MDI_about.htm

And finaly here's something to look into or pass on if you know any one
in prison or has friends/family cought in the in the systems web.

How to Start A Mens Support Group In Prison.
http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:qtEoBqYMXZAJ:insidecircle.org/msg_webversion.pdf+Mens+Circles&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&gl=us

I hope this is of use to at least one of you.

Pedro Angel Serrano

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Summer sizzles for Man Crushes -- and there's nothing wrong with that

Yosenio — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 05:35:23 GMT

Summer sizzles for Man Crushes -- and there's nothing wrong with that

Peter Hartlaub

Friday, June 8, 2007

Justin Timberlake and I should be together.

Certainly not in a physical sense, or any other way that would jeopardize my marriage. This isn't about switching sides, experimentation or a fetish for guys who used to be in boy bands.

I just really want to hang out with him. Like, forever.

We're talking, of course, about a Man Crush -- the completely non-sexual feelings that develop when one heterosexual male finds another dude to be so cool that Guy No. 1 wants to spend as much time as possible with Guy No. 2. Aristotle had a Man Crush on Plato. Richie Cunningham had a Man Crush on the Fonz. And for the entire month of April and part of May, everyone in the Bay Area with a Y chromosome had a Man Crush on Golden State Warriors star Baron Davis.

The Man Crush has always been a delicate subject among straight men, with a very complicated rule set. It's considered OK to spontaneously proclaim your love for an NFL quarterback when he just scored a touchdown. It's not cool to point out that Bob from human resources always looks nice in that blue sweater. It's socially acceptable to have a poster of a shirtless and sweaty James Hetfield from Metallica on your wall, but never a half-naked or even fully clothed picture of Orlando Bloom.

But we're at a crucial point in Man Crush history, where a perfect storm of events could make it possible for even the most insecure guy to proclaim his undying like for his fellow man.

A new "Ocean's Eleven" sequel arrives in theaters this week, co-starring the holy MC trinity of George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Matt Damon. Those three actors working together -- and that Don Cheadle ain't bad looking either -- have inspired more guy-on-guy crushes since members of the band Led Zeppelin were in their Misty Mountain Hopping prime.

"Ocean's Thirteen," the cinematic Man Crush event of the summer, will be followed by king metrosexual David Beckham's U.S. soccer debut in August, Timberlake's "FutureSex/LoveShow" HP Pavilion tour stop in September and then a potential San Francisco mayoral race repeat of Gavin Newsom versus Matt Gonzalez. It may be 72 degrees in the Sunset District without a cloud in the sky as you read this, but make no mistake: It's definitely raining men.

So why do so many guys fight it?

Every human being on the planet is born with the ability to figure out who he or she would find attractive if his or her sexual preference suddenly reversed polarity. Ask any straight woman what female celebrity she would want to date if she were a man: Chances are good she already has a list in her head, if not written down on a Post-it in her wallet. (Chances are even better that Eva Longoria is in the top three. Chicks dig Longoria.)

But ask a man to name a few guys whom he'd like to spend more time with, and depending on how close you are to a Red State, you might get a rude response. Unfortunately, we live in a time when a healthy Man Crush is still taboo, forcing millions of guys to insist that they're watching professional wrestling for the interesting storylines.

There's no Man Crush Hall of Fame or Man Crush Historical Museum, but there probably should be.

In fact, the Man Crush dates back to the Paleolithic era, where cave drawings show a prehistoric guy felling a wooly mammoth with a single spear, and then another caveman following him around for the next two weeks, offering to pull fleas out of his beard and help haul stuff down to the tar pit. Mark Antony became the second-most-powerful man in Rome based on his ability to elicit crushes from his troops (at least that's how it went in the HBO series), and U.S. President Thomas Jefferson (hot!) was elected mostly on the wealthy landowner Man Crush vote.

In recent years, Hollywood has created an entire genre of Man Crush cinema, even though no studio executive has the guts to call it by its name. From "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" and "Cool Hand Luke" to "Road House" and "Swingers," men have spent hundreds of millions of box-office dollars to spend two hours hanging out with Paul Newman, Patrick Swayze and Vince Vaughn. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has made a living profiting off the crushes he attracted in three different entertainment media: football, wrestling and action movies.

Even if you've been in denial for a decade or three, it's easy to determine your Man Crush. Here are five common categories to get you started:

Fictional Characters: Almost every guy you'll meet between the ages of 25 and 40 has experienced a Man Crush on a character played by Harrison Ford. Ninety-eight percent of the time it's Han Solo or Indiana Jones, although there's a smaller group -- kind of like the Green Party -- that will insist they have a Man Crush on his Richard Kimble character from "The Fugitive."

Sports Figures: After 49ers quarterback Steve Young made that 1988 touchdown against the Minnesota Vikings, where he broke something like 137 tackles before stumbling into the end zone, who among us didn't want to spend an entire weekend watching "Die Hard" movies and eating nachos with the guy?

Local Specimens: San Francisco's notoriously skewed eligible man-to-woman ratio may be a bummer if you're single and female, but it's great news for the regional Man Crush statistics. From San Francisco Symphony Music Director Michael Tilson Thomas to Giants pitcher Barry Zito, almost every public figure is dreamy. Bay Area politicians are also hotter than average, with Oakland Mayor Ron Dellums -- an elder Man Crush -- recently joining the ranks.

George Clooney: There's a reason why this one-time "The Facts of Life" co-star continues to make more than $10 million per picture, even though half of his movies are almost unwatchably bad: He's equally appealing to men and women -- and may be the only guy making more than $100,000 per year who still drinks Budweiser.

That Guy at Work Who Always Wears Nice Shirts: There's a guy in every workplace who is kind of intimidating because his shirts always fit really well, and he can pull off things like a yellow cashmere sweater with a dark blue blazer, jeans and light brown soft leather loafers. Get over yourself. You should definitely ask this guy to take you shopping.

Guys With Falsetto Voices Who Used to Date Britney Spears When She Was Still Hot: If you had told me five years ago that I would develop a Man Crush on Justin Timberlake, I would have spit out my Zima. But you have to admit, from the "Dick in a Box" video short on "Saturday Night Live" to the singer's unfailing ability to shack up with really attractive women, he's become pretty awesome. Maybe not Daniel Craig-in-"Casino Royale" hot, but appealing nonetheless. I buy all of his albums, give them to my wife as gifts, and then listen to them myself in private. And some day, I hope that JT and I can spend a weekend bass fishing and rebuilding a carburetor together, without the rest of the world feeling the need to judge.

Should you meet your crush, there's no need to do anything special, other than the normal stammering and awkward pauses that result when conversing with someone you really admire. (The "Saturday Night Live" Chris Farley interview of Paul McCartney is a good example.) If you're doing the job right, the recipient of your crush might be a little creeped out.

But rest assured that you're doing nothing wrong. If God didn't want us to have crushes on other men, why did he make Derek Jeter so freaking cool?

E-mail Peter Hartlaub at phartlaub@sfchronicle.com

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/06/08/DDG1DQAB2P1.DTL

This article appeared on page E - 1 of the San Francisco Chronicle

posted in A Guide to being Male - 3 replies

Big pharma plans to take advantage of the gay community

Leslee — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 06:22:38 GMT

Once again big pharma plans to put the gay community to work, Pushing big pharma front group "the American Federation of Suicide Prevention."

http://gawker.com/news/teenage-suicide%7C-don.t-do-it/kristian-laliberte-to-end-suicide-via-color-coordination-266131.php

to understand the connection

http://theeffexoractivist.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=314

http://theeffexoractivist.org/forum/viewforum.php?f=22

Do not be a patsy for big pharma

posted in A Guide to being Male - 1 reply

prostate exam after 25?

JessetheVessel — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 06:32:19 GMT

a friend of mine told me that his doctor suggested a male should have a prostate exam every year after the age of 25. i was shocked. has anyone else come across this information, or any that contradicts it?

thanks everyone!

posted in A Guide to being Male - 28 replies

ass issue

JIM — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 21:11:24 GMT

Im hoping for a little help here with a health issue. I have a rash down my ass crack ( Not all over) just like straight down it. It itches sometimes. It happened a while back and I used jock itch spray on it. This seemed to make it go away. But it has returned and is a little more persistant. I currently dont have medical insurance so im hoping this is just a basic guy thing that I need to take care of. Any suggestions? Thanks Guys.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 10 replies

Men & Eating Disorders, British Columbia

WellnessWorks! — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 02:27:21 GMT

Men have eating disorders too and often are very reluctant to seek or find support. "Eating disorders have long been cloaked in shame and secrecy. For many men, the issues around disclosure, seeking help and beginning a journey of recovery are staggering, if not insurmountable."

A focus group for men with /who have/had eating disorders will be held to better understand the perspective of males with eating disorders. Remember eating disorders often affect not just the person with the disuorder but those who care for that person too. Parents, spouse, partners, children, and friends of those men who struggle with eating disrders are often affected too.

WHEN: 6pm, June 4th, downtown/west end Vancouver, BC, CANADA (exact location TBA to confirmed participants). Participants are required to be 19 years of age or older.

The research findings will help to develop future studies and programs to support males with eating disorders.

If you know of anyone that may be interested in participating please refer them to Jane via phone or the research pager. This pager will provide support Monday - Friday 9am - noon and 1pm-4pm. The call back pager number is 604-205-6395.

If you have any additional questions or require further information, feel free to contact Jane, Tel: (604) 682- 2344 ext: 62524. Participation is strictly confidential for this research project..

Take Good Care,
Paul

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

I want to be hypnotized

NYCsubcub — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 23:13:49 GMT

Anybody know who I can connect with in NYC to try hypnotism? Please, please, please.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 14 replies

Learning to Love Men; Example #1

vulcan — Thu, 17 May 2007 21:34:22 GMT

Was having a conversation with a Black man at the radio station I help out at in NJ.
I was talking about a video I saw by DMX where he went on rapping about hating Gays; there were shots of Black male actors femming it up in a prison yard.

Then the B side starts when he gets a phone call and is told about a friend that had just died. He is moved emotionaly and rapps about his dead friend.

The homophobic stuff I had heard before but why was his love for another Black man limited to one that was dead?

I had read an article in a magazine (can't recall which) about a how in Florida the latest fashion statement is T-Shirts which are memorials to friends that are dead; Most shot.

I said to this Black man,
"I found myself wondering if any one comes in with a friend wanting a T with an image of them togeather so as to tell every one how much they love eachother while still alive. I think one big problum for us is men learning how to love each other."

This man I was speaking to is a father and he responded with,
"I only learned how to love a man after having a boy of my own."
Brilliant!
He was raised by his Mom who seemed to have done an out standing job. But when he had a son he suddenly relealized that he had to say to his boy that he loved him. And in doing that he learned how to love other men.

(Excuse my spelling.)
Now discuss please.

Pedro

posted in A Guide to being Male - 1 reply

My apologies to the str8 men in here

Moose — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 07:47:06 GMT

I just had to share this fellow Texan:

http://pornotube.com/media.php?m=2416

posted in A Guide to being Male - 9 replies

Manners

Penguin, Emperor variety — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 22:07:31 GMT

Being a southern boy, I was raised with the proper use of manners, not just chivilrous manners, but how to act in regards to those around me.

As a man, how important are manners to you? Do find more times when you see them less? Do you feel your manners are a notch above other people's? Or do you feel they are a waste of time?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 12 replies

The Sexist Homophobic Hip Hop Question.

vulcan — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 16:07:42 GMT

The Sexist Homophobic Hip Hop Question.

This is a small part of an interview I conducted with Out Black singer NHOJJ www.nhojj.com
and
Out Hip Hop artist BARON. www.baron.com

It’s near the beginning of our conversation on Homophobia in the African American communities as in our society in general. The whole interview will broadcast on Monday the 16th on 99.5 fm WBAI and stream live on <a href='http://www.wbai.org'>WBAI.ORG</a>
The broadcast will be archived 24 hours later on the http://archive.wbai.org/
Now on to the portion of the interview.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Pedro: I saw a great documentary on PBS called “Beyond Beats and Rhymes.” And it’s a critique of Hip Hop by a straight Black man who loves Hip Hop but was concerned by the homophobia and sexism he finds in it. He was talking to people like Fifty Cent; really big name rappers and when he tried to he bring up the issue of homophobia… well, he tried. One of these men actually got up and walked out of the room. He could not talk about it. Busta Rhymes! Whom I think is great. I love his stuff. But he could not talk about it. He had to walk out of the room. What is that about? Enlighten me.

Nhojj: Well we were just reading a magazine and they had a list of suspect D.L. rappers and a lot of the guys you talk about and we hear; Busta Rhymes for one was on the list. And Baron has a really cool theory.

Baron: Well it’s a small theory but it’s not profitable. It’s not profitable to be an Out homosexual artist. So until we find a way that it’s profitable… Because that’s the base line of Hip Hop; they say it’s the music but it’s the money. So until there’s responsibility around it the conversation about D.L. will continue. Because of course there are homosexual Hip Hop artists, of course.

Pedro: I’m in the Punk Rock scene. And when the first smaller labels were bought up by major labels they were criticized for being sellouts. Bands that sighed were called sellouts. “This is not Punk Rock. Signing to a major record label is Not Punk Rock.” Meanwhile in Hip Hop when these small independent Hip Hop labels were being bought up by major record companies that’s when it stopped being conscious and positive and you started seeing Gang banging and excuse my language bitches and Hoes in thongs on the videos. And Jesse Jackson and all these major black leaders never once said “This is bad. We are losing our culture. This is our culture and it’s being bought up by corporations.”

Baron: But then yes this is our culture then this is our culture that’s projecting these images. You can blame the people that pay it but if you’re doing it you’re self, then you should blame yourself for it. If you’re doing it for the dollar…

Pedro: Yea, but what if you’re not going to get sighed? In the documentary “Beyond Beats and Rhymes” one young man did a rhyme that was brilliant and political and smart and positive. And when the man doing the documentary asked “Why don’t you do that? (Instead of Rapping about killing other Black men.) the guy said, “They don’t want to hear that shit.”

Baron: But who is that “they?”

Pedro: That are the record heads who run the record labels.

Baron: And “they” are the people who are buying it.

Nhojj: I think there are a lot of people who are buying it and I think there is a market for it. There catering to a market.

Pedro: I agree with that. Yes.

Nhojj: So I think some how you need to change what the ideal is. I think that’s what the ideal is; a strong, macho, what ever the words are. I get a lot of women, I get a lot of money. It’s an ideal in our society. And I think Hip Hop just is kind of a tool to create that fantasy. It’s a fantasy.

Pedro: I publish a zine called Boots and Roots. It’s a Punk Rock Zine. And the theme for the next issue was inspired by a friend of mine and its Family, Unity, Strength, Music and Never Being Alone Again. So those are our Punk Rock Values. We’re all in this together.
But I found myself thinking, “How am I going to write about strength for this zine?
So I looked up strength, I Googled Strength! And do you know what Tarot cards are? The Image of strength in the tarot is a lion and women or a lion and a child. That’s strength. It was one of the four cardinal virtues. And what did that mean by strength? They weren’t referring to physical strength. They were referring to spiritual strength: the thing inside you that keeps you going no matter what tries to stop you. And I thought, “That’s Punk Rock!”
So what is strength in the Hip Hop World? What does strength mean there?

Nhojj: I think there are almost two Hip Hop Worlds. There’s the older, kind of more grounded one that grew up with Hip Hop when it was under ground and I think for them strength was… Um…

Baron: Strength was in the expression. There wasn’t a voice of the inner city at that time when Hip Hop came into play. So it was like “Thank God I’ve got some where to express my political views, what’s happening to me socially … um…

Nhojj: Strength was in the expression; stating your truth.

Pedro: It’s like a jungle sometimes.
It makes me wonder,
how I keep,
from going under.”

(Laughter from every one.)

Pedro: That was strength!!! And it’s still a classic.

Nhojj: Then you have the other Hip Hop World which strength is how many women you can get, how many people you kill, how much time you spent in jail.

After this we move on to discuss issues of warriorhood, manhood, and men wanting to love each other regardless of weather we are Gay or Straight.

Let us know what you think about the show at www.outfm.org.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

If you had a choice for your penis shape?

Liam — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 16:29:44 GMT

I thought this tribe would be a good forum for this.
Soon, I will need to choose a doctor to construct my
penis ( I am an FTM transman). I am wondering the pros and cons
for penis shape, size, width, circumsized appearance or not.
Both for yourself and potential ( unknown) partners.
Thanks

posted in A Guide to being Male - 21 replies

eyetracking: men looking at men

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 03:53:10 GMT

It's so satisfying when we get data that proves what we've always intuitively known. This webpage eyetracking study conclusively shows that men's eyes, with undifferentiated orientations, focus on the private areas of other men (crotch). Also that this isn't limited to humans, as men do the same when shown images of animals.

Excerpt Image
http://aguide.tribe.net/photos/fef3e91f-e9ea-4002-aa52-7c7d7633a996

This just goes to show what I learned when working in media. Whatever the visual, show cock or make it look phallic and everyone will just love it - especially straight men.

Full Article
http://www.ojr.org/ojr/stories/070312ruel/

posted in A Guide to being Male - 5 replies

A penis is a manly-splendoured thing

varianpierce — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 22:58:15 GMT

Just one more creative use for my favorite organ: http://www.smh.com.au/news/arts/where-do-i-hang-this/2006/07/19/1153166459544.html

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

..:::the BIG one:::..

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 21:34:25 GMT

SUP EVERYONE! im new here & was just curious, wether its natural to have a slight curve in my penis, & wether 8 inches is like an average size?!?!? heres a pic: http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f75/millod1001/DSC09638.jpg
tell me wat u think!
well peace.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 12 replies

www.insightseminars.org

davidgabriel — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 07:01:53 GMT

is great for the heart wkend
let me know
santamonica gwm 48 tribal member
dg

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Straight, Gay or Lying? Bisexuality Revisited

TheNewt — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 18:52:20 GMT

Here's an article a friend showed me.
I don't agree with all of it but it does bring up some interesting points.
---
July 5, 2005
Straight, Gay or Lying? Bisexuality Revisited NY Times
By BENEDICT CAREY

Some people are attracted to women; some are attracted to men. And some, if Sigmund Freud, Dr. Alfred Kinsey and millions of self-described bisexuals are to be believed, are drawn to both sexes.

But a new study casts doubt on whether true bisexuality exists, at least in men.

The study, by a team of psychologists in Chicago and Toronto, lends support to those who have long been skeptical that bisexuality is a distinct and stable sexual orientation.

People who claim bisexuality, according to these critics, are usually homosexual, but are ambivalent about their homosexuality or simply closeted. "You're either gay, straight or lying," as some gay men have put it.

In the new study, a team of psychologists directly measured genital arousal patterns in response to images of men and women. The psychologists found that men who identified themselves as bisexual were in fact exclusively aroused by either one sex or the other, usually by other men.

The study is the largest of several small reports suggesting that the estimated 1.7 percent of men who identify themselves as bisexual show physical attraction patterns that differ substantially from their professed desires.

"Research on sexual orientation has been based almost entirely on self-reports, and this is one of the few good studies using physiological measures," said Dr. Lisa Diamond, an associate professor of psychology and gender identity at the University of Utah, who was not involved in the study.

The discrepancy between what is happening in people's minds and what is going on in their bodies, she said, presents a puzzle "that the field now has to crack, and it raises this question about what we mean when we talk about desire."

"We have assumed that everyone means the same thing," she added, "but here we have evidence that that is not the case."

Several other researchers who have seen the study, scheduled to be published in the journal Psychological Science, said it would need to be repeated with larger numbers of bisexual men before clear conclusions could be drawn.

Bisexual desires are sometimes transient and they are still poorly understood. Men and women also appear to differ in the frequency of bisexual attractions. "The last thing you want," said Dr. Randall Sell, an assistant professor of clinical socio-medical sciences at Columbia University, "is for some therapists to see this study and start telling bisexual people that they're wrong, that they're really on their way to homosexuality."

He added, "We don't know nearly enough about sexual orientation and identity" to jump to these conclusions.

In the experiment, psychologists at Northwestern University and the Center for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto used advertisements in gay and alternative newspapers to recruit 101 young adult men. Thirty-three of the men identified themselves as bisexual, 30 as straight and 38 as homosexual.

The researchers asked the men about their sexual desires and rated them on a scale from 0 to 6 on sexual orientation, with 0 to 1 indicating heterosexuality, and 5 to 6 indicating homosexuality. Bisexuality was measured by scores in the middle range.

Seated alone in a laboratory room, the men then watched a series of erotic movies, some involving only women, others involving only men.

Using a sensor to monitor sexual arousal, the researchers found what they expected: gay men showed arousal to images of men and little arousal to images of women, and heterosexual men showed arousal to women but not to men.

But the men in the study who described themselves as bisexual did not have patterns of arousal that were consistent with their stated attraction to men and to women. Instead, about three-quarters of the group had arousal patterns identical to those of gay men; the rest were indistinguishable from heterosexuals.

"Regardless of whether the men were gay, straight or bisexual, they showed about four times more arousal" to one sex or the other, said Gerulf Rieger, a graduate psychology student at Northwestern and the study's lead author.

Although about a third of the men in each group showed no significant arousal watching the movies, their lack of response did not change the overall findings, Mr. Rieger said.

Since at least the middle of the 19th century, behavioral scientists have noted bisexual attraction in men and women and debated its place in the development of sexual identity. Some experts, like Freud, concluded that humans are naturally bisexual. In his landmark sex surveys of the 1940's, Dr. Alfred Kinsey found many married, publicly heterosexual men who reported having had sex with other men.

"Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual," Dr. Kinsey wrote. "The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats."

By the 1990's, Newsweek had featured bisexuality on its cover, bisexuals had formed advocacy groups and television series like "Sex and the City" had begun exploring bisexual themes.

Yet researchers were unable to produce direct evidence of bisexual arousal patterns in men, said Dr. J. Michael Bailey, a professor of psychology at Northwestern and the new study's senior author.

A 1979 study of 30 men found that those who identified themselves as bisexuals were indistinguishable from homosexuals on measures of arousal. Studies of gay and bisexual men in the 1990's showed that the two groups reported similar numbers of male sexual partners and risky sexual encounters. And a 1994 survey by The Advocate, the gay-oriented newsmagazine, found that, before identifying themselves as gay, 40 percent of gay men had described themselves as bisexual.

"I'm not denying that bisexual behavior exists," said Dr. Bailey, "but I am saying that in men there's no hint that true bisexual arousal exists, and that for men arousal is orientation."

But other researchers - and some self-identified bisexuals - say that the technique used in the study to measure genital arousal is too crude to capture the richness - erotic sensations, affection, admiration - that constitutes sexual attraction.

Social and emotional attraction are very important elements in bisexual attraction, said Dr. Fritz Klein, a sex researcher and the author of "The Bisexual Option."

"To claim on the basis of this study that there's no such thing as male bisexuality is overstepping, it seems to me," said Dr. Gilbert Herdt, director of the National Sexuality Resource Center in San Francisco. "It may be that there is a lot less true male bisexuality than we think, but if that's true then why in the world are there so many movies, novels and TV shows that have this as a theme - is it collective fantasy, merely a projection? I don't think so."

John Campbell, 36, a Web designer in Orange County, Calif., who describes himself as bisexual, also said he was skeptical of the findings.

Mr. Campbell said he had been strongly attracted to both sexes since he was sexually aware, although all his long-term relationships had been with women. "In my case I have been accused of being heterosexual, but I also feel a need for sex with men," he said.

Mr. Campbell rated his erotic attraction to men and women as about 50-50, but his emotional attraction, he said, was 90 to 10 in favor of women. "With men I can get aroused, I just don't feel the fireworks like I do with women," he said.

About 1.5 percent of American women identify themselves bisexual. And bisexuality appears easier to demonstrate in the female sex. A study published last November by the same team of Canadian and American researchers, for example, found that most women who said they were bisexual showed arousal to men and to women.

Although only a small number of women identify themselves as bisexual, Dr. Bailey said, bisexual arousal may for them in fact be the norm.

Researchers have little sense yet of how these differences may affect behavior, or sexual identity. In the mid-1990's, Dr. Diamond recruited a group of 90 women at gay pride parades, academic conferences on gender issues and other venues. About half of the women called themselves lesbians, a third identified as bisexual and the rest claimed no sexual orientation. In follow-up interviews over the last 10 years, Dr. Diamond has found that most of these women have had relationships both with men and women.

"Most of them seem to lean one way or the other, but that doesn't preclude them from having a relationship with the nonpreferred sex," she said. "You may be mostly interested in women but, hey, the guy who delivers the pizza is really hot, and what are you going to do?"

"There's a whole lot of movement and flexibility," Dr. Diamond added. "The fact is, we have very little research in this area, and a lot to learn."

posted in A Guide to being Male - 21 replies

Reverence for the Phallus...

MacMorrighan — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 21:22:57 GMT

Hey guys, riddle me this: Why do I see so little reverence for the phallus in our culture? It's as thought it's a part of the male body that is sociologically neutered from our psyche. Though, more to the point, why is the phallus concieved of as being so offensive by women (culturally-speaking), as well as heterosexual men? Hell, have you heard how many women speak about this part of the male anatomy? They speak of it as "icky," "dirty," "gross," etc. Someone even told me that women call Him "turkey neck"! How offensive and disrespectful! And, don't even get them started on forskin-- I've seen some women actualy gag at the thoughts, while some wom,en have already determined that they are going to circumcise their sons before they hgave any because hey are phenominally uncomfortable with the thought of cleaning their penis when he's an infant! And, if you question circumcision to her in any way, she becomes deeply offended!

Even in drunken orgies (not that I have a problem with orgies, mind you) one sees an applicable double-standard in place, such as at Mardi Gras: if a man whips it out even *once*, he gets hauled off to jail, but if a women shows her breasts, she gets a warning, first, and if she does it again, THEN she gets hauled off to jail. Now, if they had limited their law to the showing of one's outward secondary sexual characteristics (ie, breasts for women, and penis for men, and a single offense for each), I wouldn't be harping. But, c'mon!

Why must it be, I wonder, that women's bodies are viewed by Western society as beautiful and sexy (even thier secondary sexual characteristics) but men's parts (even if it's a buldge in his tighty-whities, are viewed as a step away from pornography? Yet, when women are concerned we look the other way... How have we come to this point? How has our culture allowed it?

A friend of mine was telling me, recently, that a woman wrote a letter to the Ed. of The Advocate (a GLBT magazine) because she was offended that there was a buldge in the shorts of the cover model for one month's issue (he happened to be a professional athlete)! My buddy was even telling me that female sports anchores are harping about how "unprofessional" it is that they were changinf in front of her as she was interviewing other players whilst *in* the Locker Room! What the...???

I was just recently (not by choice) reading AOL's headlines the other day when I was confronted with a close-up image of a woman's crotch wearing panties. Now, I know full well that we would NEVER see such exposure of a man! WTF!

Rather, it's as though the aniconic images of the blade and the gun or riffle have come to replace it as a symbol of respect. I mean, I feel as though men have transferred their psycho-sexual (and spiritual) images endemic with respect onto these extended images of violence as a result. They've basically flipped the switch, if you will.

I wonder, if they didn't view their own bodies as gross, or unsexualized they might be able to get back on track. What do you think about the issue?

Take Care,
Wade

posted in A Guide to being Male - 10 replies

Prostate cancer

jims713 — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 11:51:03 GMT

I have a topic that I think might be of interest to men.

I am 63 years old. About a two years ago an irregualarity was noticed on my prostate during my annual physical exam. It turned out to be cancer. I opted for a surgical fix. It seems that the cancer was caught early and I am still cancer free. This is the good part.

It seems that my recovery in other areas has been going more slowly. I still have a small problem with incontinence (very small), but in the sexual area there has been very little recovery. This has affected me in ways that I did anticipate.

I am single and live alone. This "problem" has caused to feel really less than other men. I am afraid to get out and meet others because I feel like a big part of what I could offer somebody else is missing. So I have become a bit of a recluse and spend way too much time on the internet. I have tried various medications, but they are very expensive and do not seem to work. I was just wondering if any other men on this tribe have had this experience and how have they handled it.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 1 reply

Being a Guy for the New Year.

vulcan — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 23:00:22 GMT

Hung out with my Straight friends last night. (All the men I mention bond romanticly and sexualy with women)
It set a good standard to work with in the future.

Ended up a a party.
Got drunken hugs from my friends I crash with on occasion.

It was a good time.

I didn't get to sleep till after 4 Am.
In part to sober up before taking my meds but also
it was all too pleasent.
After getting to my friends place I striped down to my socks leaving my cloths in the attic where I would be sleeping.
I sat with one friend watching a movie and listening to him tell me an article he read about gay charectors in comics.

He fell asleep to the closing credits.
I made my way down staires for a re-fill on my glass of water.

One of the guys was in the living room next to the kitchen watching The O.C. on DVD.
I was carefull to not be see as I opened the fridge door.
He sees me standing behind the door and asks,
"Are you naked?"
When I steped away from the fridge to close the door Zack could see that I was indeed nude.
"Awsome." he says.

I sat with him and friends that had come over and we watched the TV and joked about the goings on in the show. And yes, they were upset over it being cancelled.

Woke up to Zacks snoring two yards away and made a pot of coffee.
I got dressed around noon.

I can't say that there is a single goal amonge the various Bisexual, Gay Male, Lesbian, Queer and Trans communities. One I think many of us share is to be apprieciated for who we are as individuals in our particular communities.

Yes my friends see me as "Gay." But I feel like a "Guy."

I see myself and have been discribed as "an assmilationist."
I don't live in a Gay ghetto. Most of my friends are hetrosexual.
And the role I play is for the most part a same gender loving man in a mostly hetro society.

With more awareness, understanding, acceptance and apprieciation
what is it you all would like to see in your lives and in the lives of others?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Experts Discover Men And Women Are Different!

Yosenio — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 09:49:50 GMT

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2006/12/29/cstillwell.DTL

Experts Discover Men And Women Are Different!
- Cinnamon Stillwell
Friday, December 29, 2006

When it was revealed that scientific studies published in the new book "The Female Brain" demonstrate that women talk more than men, many of us responded with a collective shrug. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex -- whether romantic, familial or friendly -- knows that women talk more than men. A lot more.

"The Female Brain" indicates that not only do women talk three times as much as men, but they also get a chemical rush in their brains from hearing their own voices. This may explain why women describe "feeling better" after talking about problems or issues in their lives, beyond the mere relief of getting it off their chest.

But what is most fascinating about the book is the background of its author. A neuropsychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco, and the head of a female mood and hormone clinic in San Francisco, Dr. Louann Brizendine is also a self-described feminist. In putting forward the results of clinical work and scientific analysis, Brizendine was forced to concede that everything she had been taught about gender was wrong. That is, men and women really are different. As she put it, "I know it is not politically correct to say this but I've been torn for years between my politics and what science is telling us. I believe women actually perceive the world differently from men."

None of this will come as a surprise to those already attuned to the politically incorrect reality of gender differentiation, but for those indoctrinated in the feminist school of gender uniformity, Brizendine's words are heresy. While correctly focusing on egalitarianism between the sexes, the post-1960s feminist movement has all too often confused gender equality with gender sameness. Consequently, at a time when college students can graduate with degrees in Gender Studies, there seems to be a marked lack of acknowledgment about the differences between men and women.

Trans Confusion

The attempts by the burgeoning transgender movement to prove that gender itself is meaningless add to the confusion. Rather than a fixed notion, they see gender as something fluid. This works well to the advantage of those who do feel, whether for medical or psychological reasons, that they inhabit some gender nether zone. The problem is, with the exception of cases of physically hermaphroditic children, one's sex is biologically determined at birth.

Granted, we all have feminine and masculine traits and there are always exceptions to the rule. But any parent who has given dolls to little boys only to see their heads torn off or fire trucks to little girls only to see the vehicles tucked into bed at night knows that gender uniformity can't be enforced. These differences come naturally.

Gender variance exists even among same-sex couples. It's not uncommon to see one partner taking on a more feminine role and the other a more masculine one. Whether it be "butch-femme" lesbian couples or a "bear" with a "nelly" on the male side of the equation, male and female roles often come into play. It seems that even when gender differences are not a factor, human beings find a way to adopt them.

Killer Females

The entertainment industry is big on pushing the gender envelope. Whether consciously or not, the progenitors of pop culture help to perpetuate a kind of gender role reversal. Women have become tough and controlling, while men are seen as weak and indecisive.

Since the influence of martial arts films on U.S. markets began, audiences have been treated to countless film and television scenes of petite lasses duking it out with big bruisers. The TV show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" was a case in point. But at least Buffy's bad-guy butt-kicking was explained through her having supernatural powers. It has now become far more commonplace to see mere mortal female characters punching people in the face on a moment's notice, beating up or overpowering men and taking the romantic or sexual lead. Far from empowering women in reality, these fantasy scenarios put forward unrealistic expectations and a false sense of security.

The gravity-defying female fighters of the "Charlie's Angels" films, the demure Southern belle Daisy Duke whose high heel ends up lodged in a man's throat in "The Dukes of Hazzard," the cold, cruel Taser-wielding blonde on the TV show "Smith" and the perennially bed-hopping Samantha character in "Sex and the City" are all examples of this trend. Even Hermione, the smart young heroine of the "Harry Potter" film series, slugs the annoying Malfoy in the face in the third installment.

In other words, the leading lady has become the leading man, and a not terribly charming one at that.

Male Girlfriends

In contrast, too many of today's leading men -- if they can be called that -- are content to let women take the reins. TV shows are populated with male characters -- usually police officers or detectives -- who stand meekly by as their much more confident and assured female counterparts (who often happen to be their bosses) lead them by the hand. An episode from the first season of "Heroes" featured one such male character, with superpowers no less. Still, he was content to tag along in the rear as his aggressive female partner charged into a violent suspect's home instead of calling for backup. The fact that she and other such female characters typically weigh only 90 pounds and have more intimidating hairdos than they do physical prowess seems to make little difference.

When male characters do exhibit masculine traits on TV, they are often made to look like fools in the process. Sitcoms such as "According to Jim" and "King of Queens" -- featuring overweight, average-looking husbands married to gorgeous, skinny wives -- are a prime culprit. The man is usually portrayed as a complete schlub who couldn't find his ear from his elbow without the guidance of his far intellectually superior wife.

The emergence of metrosexuality, or straight men exhibiting the traits of gay men, can be blamed in part for the decline of masculinity. All around San Francisco, one can see evidence of the trend. From men getting manicures, pedicures and waxings to wearing outfits that are just a touch too matching to fawning over small fluffy dogs, the metros appear to be taking over. And TV shows such as "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" are not helping. While no one can deny that many straight men need assistance in the fashion department, it has traditionally been a woman's role to provide it. But now we have gay men doing the honors and, if you ask me, overdoing it. Even a makeover must acknowledge the reality of male clothing and toiletry habits. The stylish fellows on "Queer Eye" may school allegedly clueless straight men in the joys of astringent and pink ties, but any woman knows those items will be dispensed with at the first opportunity.

While gay men are welcome to be as in touch with their feminine side as they like, straight men would do well to ignore it. For what woman would want a man who cannot go a week without buying beauty products, let alone guard hearth and home? Those who acknowledge the reality of gender differences know this instinctively, while those who pretend they are meaningless are affronted when one dares speak the truth. But most women, on a biological and often conscious level, are looking for a provider and protector in a man, among other things. Yet the metrosexual revolution would have us believe that women are yearning for nothing more in a man than another girlfriend.

Weepie Guys

Another disturbing offshoot of this trend is the public preponderance of men hugging, telling other men they "love" them and crying on a moment's notice. Anyone who has witnessed the unseemly weeping of certain male politicians in recent years (former President George Bush and Ohio Sen. George Voinovich come to mind) knows that men crying in public is not a good thing. Whatever happened to the strong silent type? The male movie stars of yesteryear provided some good examples. Men with the quiet strength of Gary Cooper, the warmth and humility of Jimmy Stewart or the laconic toughness of Robert Mitchum were the real deal. Hold the tears.

But there are some it seems who would like to do away with the notion of masculinity altogether. Robert Jensen, a journalism professor at the University of Texas, wrote as much in an October column, "Men Being Men Is a Bad Deal: Guys Should Evolve Beyond Masculinity." Jensen's column provoked an avalanche of laughter and scorn on talk radio and the blogosphere. Not only did Jensen come across as, well, a wimp, but his demonizing of manhood missed the mark. In equating masculinity with all things violent, Jensen underestimates his own sex. For masculinity is not only about being a warrior. The manly virtues include character, confidence, honor, inner strength, pride, responsibility, loyalty, generosity, industry and dignity. To eliminate masculinity would be to eliminate the positive along with the negative.

Similarly, the natural and instinctive traits that constitute womanhood need not be exclusive of adaptations to modern life. Women should not have to apologize for their femininity, just as men should not have to apologize for their masculinity.

As a society, we would do better to accept our differences instead of turning men and women into bland imitations of each other. For it is the very dissimilarities between the genders that make them complementary -- the veritable yin and yang. Not only do we balance each other out, in the best of circumstances, but learning to adapt to our more challenging variations strengthens us as human beings. And it certainly makes life a lot more interesting.

Vive la différence!

Cinnamon Stillwell is a San Francisco writer. She can be reached at cinnamonstillwell@yahoo.com. Read her blog at cinnamonstillwell.blogspot.com/.

URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2006/12/29/cstillwell.DTL

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
©2006 SF Gate

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

I Totaly Miss You.

vulcan — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 18:31:43 GMT

Lyrics to a song by
TENACIOUS D
Titled "Dude (I Totally Miss You)"
It's on there latest CD The Pick Of Destiny.
Genius !!!!!!!

+++++++++++++++++++++
LYRICS TO "DUDE"

Dude, I totally miss you
I really fucking miss you
I'm all alone,
All the time, all the time

Dude, I totally miss you
The things we did together
Where have you gone?

Totally miss the honesty
And special times, and honestly
I totally miss the fucked up thing ya do

Dude, i totally miss you
I totally miss you
Dude, i totally miss you
All the time

Ahhhhhhhhhh, aaaaaah
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, aaaaaah
aah ya-he haaa.

Totally miss the honesty
And special times, and honestly
I totally miss the fucked up thing ya do

Dude, i totally miss you
I totally miss you
Dude, i totally miss you
All the time

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Getting through the Holidays.

Jake — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 06:03:51 GMT

We all know Women get all "Wet" and mooshey mooshey over the Holidays,especially Christmas! They buzz around like buisy little bee's prettying up the house,putting up Holiday Decorations,spending hours at the mall,looking for that "perfect gift",they get their hair done,buy new "holiday clothes" to wear to the In-laws and freinds Christmas gatherings. BUT seriously Guys..Christmas? what's really in it for us Guys. Unless your a Dad and have kids to enjoy on Christmas morning, the holiday can seem pretty empty for the single Man,especially if he hasn't got a Mate or isnt seeing someone special.
A few tips to make it through Christmas if you a single man alone:

If your not dating skip the "Holiday Party" scene,nothing is worse than attending a Christmas party alone.
If you live alone don't bother with a Christmas Tree or decorations,if no one but you will be looking at them,it can just add to your feeling that you are alone.
Avoid TV around the Holidays,nothing is worse for the single Man to see all that Christmas cheer,in commercial advertising and even on your favorite shows.
If you are alone on Christmas Day,go to a freind's home and hang out,or better yet,volunteer at a local soup kitchen for the poor,being home alone on Christmas Day can be excrutiatingly painful.
Being basically alone,I have "skipped Christmas" entirely for the past 9 years,this is also an option,and it doesn't put you behind for five months paying off your plastic.
Any "Other Ideas" for men during "The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year"?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 3 replies

natural scents

jim — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 14:36:23 GMT

Does anyone else find themselves attracted to or aroused by the natural scent of armpits (no deodorant) or balls? Imnot talking totally ripe, but after a long day, that cool smell.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 59 replies

Pleasing women

Penguin, Emperor variety — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 23:07:43 GMT

We've been talking a lot about male anatomy, so I thought maybe we could discuss way for us to better please the women in our life.

Does anyone have a special technique they use on women? This would be like the Seinfeld episode where he let his secret out, but it ended in a counter clock-wise swirl.

Likewise, can anyone share an act that went totally wrong and spoiled the mood?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 32 replies

To Shave or not to Shave?

Jake — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 04:05:35 GMT

Shaving a man's Face...that ages-old tradition that was made part of "being a man" by Hollywood actors in the 1940's and by Gillette's Invention of The Safety Razor in 1930.
BUT...Is It a "Mans Duty" to shave his face clean or just an image fostered by Hollywood?
Women like it becuase: "he doesn't scratch me while he's down there"
Men do it becuase corporations still insist on the clean shaven man as "Proper male Grooming Ettiquet"
But Is shaving the face all its built up to be?
There are several dowsides to shaving one's face:
1.) a beard or go-tee can often hide disfiguring scars or marks on the man's face.
2.) a beard will very often hide lines and wrinkles and advanced signs of aging.
3.) a beard gives each man his own specific "facial Identity" as every beard is different and no two are exactly alike.
I prefer to be bearded as I intensly dislike shaving my face,I havent "seen" my face in decades!
How about it guys....Beard or no beard?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 12 replies

Craig's List

Druben — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 12:21:05 GMT

My good buddy suggested that one way I could meet some men in my area was to go on Craig's list. I went there and, Lordy, it seems sleezy to me and prettty much oriented around the zipless fuck. Years ago I tried the local personals and that just lead to a lot of awkward inteerviews and few encounters that weren't very satisfying or long lasting. I'd be interested in hearing your experiences with the personals or Criag's list or other forms of meeing guys (or girls) with sex in mind. My buddy says that I should't shoot for marriage material right now but get out into circulation maybe with a regular special friend who comes over once a week for a pleasant afternnoon romp. That sounds nice in theory... What's an introvert to do?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 7 replies

Monogamy

livinaunatural — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 16:30:54 GMT

As a result of a different conversation here, the subject of monogamy has come up. I thought it would prove to be an interesting topic of conversation here.

I have never thought or believed that the human animal (particularly males) have any natural sense of monogamy or truly exclusiveness to a single mate for a lifetime. Gay, straight, bi, young or old.....it seems that as long as the nuts are working and testosterone is flowing, the drive to sow the seed is there. It has been said in this Tribe that we run in packs, and are truly dogs at heart.

So I'm curious what other men think here...................... are we naturally monogamous?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 7 replies

Comradery

dub — Tue, 20 Jun 2006 15:31:51 GMT

Hey Brothers,

I wanted to talk about comradeship. The feeling of social beingness with your fellow men.

Psychologically, the way we interact and the way we live our lives is shaped by the experiences we have through adolescence and childhood. It has a great deal to do with the person we become as adults. Sometimes we're aware of this connection, other times not.

I've noticed a big difference in the way that many women interact with their female friends, and the way that men interact with their male comrades. The "brotherhood" seems like it runs deeper, and is more widespread than the "sisterhood".

So what is it in our young lives that changes our social interactions of adulthood?

Were you taught comradery / brotherhood? Was it learned from adult males? From friends?

Or was there a lack of comradery in your life growing up? How does this relate to the relationship with your father or male guardian / adult figure?

How does the comradery we experience through childhood, or do not experience, shape the nature of our adult relationships?

_____________________________________________________

I was involved in Scouting, and in DeMolay, youth organizations that both are very high on comradery and brotherhood aspects. The male adult leaders were teachers. They cared about the differences they made in our lives, and helping us to better ourselves.

I also had a strong relationship with my fater. He did his best to instill me with honor, responsibility, and character. He and my mom divorced when I was young, and we experienced each other on our own terms.

I feel I'm lucky for that foundation. I think it makes the difference in the way we relate to others in our adult years.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 39 replies

Jelqing?

Jiro — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 19:10:54 GMT

Has anyone tried this? I subscribed to a website and downloaded the instructions. I did it for about two months and didn't really see any change. I did experience what looked like a little bruising. The tip of my penis became spotted with red, but it went away after I stopped.

Are there any success stories out there? If anyone can vouch for this technique, I may start up again.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 19 replies

a new tribe to check out

marcel — Sat, 29 Jul 2006 20:29:47 GMT

http://tribes.tribe.net/spankysplace
private tribe so ask for invite
peace

posted in A Guide to being Male - 14 replies

Looking for writing for my Zine

vulcan — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 18:50:11 GMT

Hey all. The names Pedro and I publish Zines.

I'm looking for contributions from Males
for my guy zine I'm calling
GUY ZINE.
I’m looking for contributions from "GUYS."
(Heterosexual, Bisexual, Gay Male,
Female to Male, and Male to Female Trans folk,)
to share there thoughts, opinions and
experiences about being male.
My goal is to reveal and
promote discussion on issues
surrounding and including: Affection, Respect,
Relationships, Love, Trust, Duty, Brotherhood,
Fatherhood, Mentor-ship, Intimidation, Violence,
Spirituality, Intimacy, Respect, Honor,
Recipes, Humor...etc...
I’m primarily interested in opinions and observations based on
experience NOT theory.
If you have had experiences that confirm a theory then go to town!
I am not looking for generalizations.
I’m looking for stories, essays, book reviews,
Sports reports, bar reviews,
diary entries, poetry, and song lyrics.

If you can best express what you
have to say visually, then photos, drawings,
cut and past collages, are more then welcome.
Don’t assume you have nothing to share!
______________________________
If you don’t know where to start
or for more information…
Pedro Angel Serrano
P.O. Box 1445
Perth Amboy, NJ 08862-1445
or e-mail me.

+++++++++++++++++++++

posted in A Guide to being Male - 2 replies

Hard or Soft

Druben — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 19:35:00 GMT

To follow up the question about penis size, which is more a source of concern, pride, embarrassment, or delight: when you are hard or when you are soft? Is size more of an issue when erect and ready or at the urinal or in the gym shower?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 20 replies

hematospermia--blood in your cum

khrysso — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 17:37:33 GMT

One when I was in junior high I discovered blood in my cum. It scared the bejeebers out of me at the time, but I later found out that it is almost never problematic.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hematospermia

posted in A Guide to being Male - 8 replies

Whats the Big Deal about Penis size?

Jake — Tue, 20 Jun 2006 04:28:45 GMT

Why do most Men make such a big deal out of the size of their Penis?
If your heterosexual and you fuck Pussy,all you "Need" is a four inch Penis,the reason for this is, a Womans "vaginal opening to her Cervix" is only a MAXIMUM of 6 inches in length,and her primary sensory sexual organ(The Clitoris) is ony one inch inside her..so why "Wish" for a nine inch Penis? when fucking a Pussy,you dont "Need" nine inches.
If your homosexual(like myself) most of Us are "conditioned" from the time we a very young man,that most gay guys measure your "Manliness" by how big yer prick is! These are the "Size Queens". In reality,taking a Bigger penis up your ass DOES feel better than a smaller penis,I don't know if a bigger or smaller penis in a Pussy is better or worse as my pussy plowing experience was limited to only ONE time(I couldnt get past that "Fishy stench" for a second go-round)however,this still doesnt measure how masculine or "Manly" a Man Is.
As I pointed out in the last Posting,NOTHING is medically available that can enlarge a Man's penis,(well yeah a LOT of phony stuff) and SURE he can pump it up,and temporarily it can "appear" larger,due to all that overinflated/overstretched erectile tissue,but it doesnt stay that way.
The bottom line Is: we are what we ARE and more Men should just accept their penis size and not be so uptight about it. "A Man's Worth Is Not Measured by the size of his Penis".
Some of Us ended up with a 4 incher....and some with an 8....and a few with a tene'r!

posted in A Guide to being Male - 28 replies

Let Us Now Praise Nelly Men!

varianpierce — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 04:08:31 GMT

I started a new tribe to counter some of the negative bullshit directed at gay men who don't fit into society's limited notions of how a man "should" be. Many gay men have taken on these judgments, as well, and try to emulate some silly hypermasculine ideal, while pointing fingers at other men who don't conform.

Personally, I find gay accents, graceful mannerisms, and softness in men to be a powerful turn-on. So it's time that gay-acting, gay appearing men got some strokes for being so beautiful and sexy and GAY!
http://tribes.tribe.net/2170cabb-c2a1-47b6-8fb3-01ca24684db0?_click_path=Application%5Btribe%5D.Tribe%5B2170cabb-c2a1-47b6-8fb3-01ca24684db0%5D

posted in A Guide to being Male - 19 replies

cum

Druben — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 14:22:01 GMT

Knew that would draw your attention! But a serious question: Some guys produce think cum, perhaps not a lot in quanity but very thick and doesn't seem to project very far. Other guys produce a lot of watery cum that really sprays. Some cum is very white and milky and other is almost clear. Do you know what causes these differences? Is your cum always of the same quality or does it vary along this (or another) continuum. Inquiring minds want to know....

posted in A Guide to being Male - 16 replies

Boycott MySpace for homophobic cRAP music

geos — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 16:02:08 GMT

My MySpace.com account was deleted when I questioned their sponsorship of homophobic rap "music". It's outrageous that these so called musicians can get away with their vicious attacks on the gay community with impunity. I guess MySpace will tolerate just about anything except criticizm. I'm new at this organizing business. I'd appreciate any help in getting the word out on MySpace censorship and sponsorship of bigotry. Let's organize a boycott.

My e-mail to MySpace:
Excuse me but why is My Space sponsoring homophobic, hate mongering cRAP music? My buddy Tom has not responded to my e-mail about this subject. It is not acceptable for these viscious, loud mouth, no talent, hate mongers to profit from out pain. There is a large gay presence on myspace. Blog, e-mail, bulletin as many friends as you can. Maybe Tom will get the message.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 8 replies

male love

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 03:42:17 GMT

just a question though, for those that don't claim to be exclusively homosexual, but have some sort of crush or some degree of attraction towards other men, do you see yourself in a relationship withthe right man a possibility, or is it just purely physical? just wondering though...

posted in A Guide to being Male - 10 replies

Those Hot young gurls they are burning up with ragging hormones but..

jamesfreaksurfer — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 03:55:33 GMT

even tho some are very friendly to me, and sexually stimulating ya know kinda wild and very flurtatious.
I just don't want their love. Im sorry to disapoint them but I can go down on 2 or even 3 young men in one nite. But not the girls. I so get turned on by some masculine young men who are bi or gay too hot!!!
It means that maybe Im GAY!!

posted in A Guide to being Male - 4 replies

To Settle or Not To Settle...?

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 21:14:32 GMT

Is settling down, by it's very nature, settling for less than perfect and if so is there anything wrong with that?

There's the idea that if you're not waiting for the absolute perfect Mr. Right then you're getting into a relationship just for the sake of being in one.

Now before you all go off on tangents about true love and the evils of needing a man to be happy, hear me out. Life isn't perfect and people aren't perfect.

Webster's defines settling down as, 'taking up an ordered or stable life'. I understand that commitment is not for everyone nor is it what everyone wants.

If you take an honest look at what you want and what's going to make you happy; what's wrong with finding someone else with the same desires who's going to love you but might not be your ideal man?

Lately, it seems like the only thing my friends talk about is relationships. Who's in one, who's tired of theirs and who wants one. Those of us in relationships are ready to get out of them and the single guys are ready to settle down. None of us can agree on why we aren't satisfied with our current relationship status. The only consensus seems to be that we are all ready for a change.

I tend to wonder if it's not something specific about gay men that makes this such a difficult personal decision. My thought today was that straight people often choose spouses who are not 'their type' and marry quite happily. Is it just that they have a better handle on the realties of building a life with a partner or because they have the support/pressure to do so?

I'd really like to hear your thoughts, stories and suggestions. Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with settling down if that's what you really want.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 4 replies

Sexual Lubricants-the good and the bad.

Jake — Sat, 24 Jun 2006 13:55:49 GMT

Most men use a Lube during masturbation and Anal/Vaginal penetration..unless of course he's into X-treme S/M and likes to rub his dick until it's RAW...and bleeding (OUCH!)
Unfortunatly,most of todays mass-produced sexual lubricants start out slick,but then quickly dry out.
Water-based Gel Lubes like Slik,Silk,Ultra-Glide and others,dry on your hands within minutes,requiring application of endless ammounts of it,to keep it Slippery.These also dry out inside the anal cavity,making a hard anal fuck uncomfortable and the penis "sticky" for some people.
Flavored Lubes are just flat-out YUCKY! and are mostly used for "Muff Diving" a Woman.
There are a few good Cream based Lubes,but ones such as "Elbow Grease" and some others contain Nonoxynol-9 a spermicide that can irritate the skin and mucosal membrane of the anus,resulting in a "Burning" sensation,if you choose a cream-based Lube avoid Nox-9.
J-Lube is a unique Lubricant. Originally developed for Veterinary Gynecology,it is a White Powder you mix with water,it is VERY slick and is the consistency of "Human Mucous" If you are jacking with J-lube and it dries out,simply spitting into your hand will slick it right back up!
Lastly..there is Crisco Shortening. Crisco has been used as a sexual lubricant since it's invention in the 1950's,Its thick,creamy and does not dry out. Crisco has been the benchmark lubricant for "Handballing" (Fisting) for Decades,Crisco is Messy,but a great all-around Lube.To avoid that "Crisco Brand Odor" Use Safeway Shortening instead(or "Other" store brands) as these tend to be "Odorless". The only down-side to Crisco is using it with Latex Condoms can "degrade" the latex and possibly lead to Condom failure. Using Dawn Hand Dishwashing liquid detergent(1/2 cup) in your regular laundry,will quickly get rid of Crisco Stains on clothing,towels and bedsheets.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 13 replies

i got my own tribe you guys!

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 22:13:55 GMT

http://mtftmbear.tribe.net

want to come play?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Hey guys, get reel

Druben — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 05:00:31 GMT

Though I appreicate the sensitive and compassionate sharing on the thrread about dick size and even generally agree as far as the mechanics go, there is nevertheless a huge emphasis on cock size in the gay media - the ample basket, the heavy tool, hung like a horse. We have been socialized around it and sp have I. I tend to find about a 7 to 8 inch erect cock to be very pleasing visually; much more than that I am concerned that too much blood is being deprived of other important organs like the brain, much less than that and, lets say, its not a pic I save on my hard drive. Now, all the studies I have read about the dimensions of the nomal male penis is that the average erection measures in a little shy of 6 inches. Porn would have us believe that the average cock is about 8. So, is our media drenched gaze corrupting our sense of reality?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 2 replies

What makes you Proud!

Dream_Bear_Waking — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 11:22:53 GMT

There has been a dirth of topics here about things like Penis size and such but they all seem a bit negative. I'm all about the positive and wanted to talk about what makes us proud about our bodies.

We all have a part of ourselves that we like. Mine is my height (6'2") and the pattern of my body hair. I love the way it's so silky and the way it swirls at my shoulders. I have great shoulders.

What makes you all proud about your bodies?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 7 replies

anal sex question

Druben — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 01:13:31 GMT

I have only been a bottom in anal sex a few times. I have always wondered if frequent anal sex changes your bowel movements. I imagine that using lube and even having semen up the butt (God forbid any of you have unsafe sex) might mean sudden evacuation urgency in the night. And what about the rectal stretching with toys - does that make any difference with shitting? I have had someone shit as I pulled out of them and I guess this is not all that uncommon but it is never talked about. Any of you bold enough to tell me about experiences with these two functions of the rectum?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 17 replies

New here

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 19:44:01 GMT

just joined last night.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 8 replies

Attraction to friends....

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 01:35:26 GMT

I have this problem where I am attracted to most, if not all of my male friends. This probably stems from my childhood in which i expiremented with the boys in the neighborhood. Well, this expirementation has lasted into adulthood. I have messed around with almost all of my male friends, and the ones I haven't fooled around with I have at least hit on. I currently don't have many male friends, many have moved out of state, others have moved to the city, and I don't make guy friends easily. Is something wrong with me? Should I just resist the urges?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 28 replies

Washing your hands?

Sean — Wed, 07 Jun 2006 12:50:03 GMT

Just wondering how many guys here wash their hands after a piss? Personnally I don't cos I figure I've sucked and rimmed so many men in my time without worrying about it that why should I worry about my own dick?

Any views?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 14 replies

cam site and more

marcel — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 16:37:29 GMT

hi guys
http://www.outpersonals.com/
the site to see more nude pics of me (in the album section look under my profile) and many other dudes across the world and also has a cam feature you might find me on
peace
marcel

posted in A Guide to being Male - 4 replies

Relationships

eco_warrior_1 — Tue, 02 May 2006 00:15:17 GMT

If you were in a relationship, what would be too long of a time period to go without sex? Barring illness and such. If that time period passed, would you cut your losses, and accept that it was over?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 6 replies

Online Sex Is it the "New Sex Of The Millenia"?

Jake — Wed, 31 May 2006 15:21:28 GMT

First it was "Message Boards" then in 95 an incredible way to connect was born...The Internet! Available to all who could afford that first low-spec'd pricy Home Personal Computer(PC)
Now people all over the Planet were talking to each other,getting to know each other,and meeting up for ...SEX!
Then..Computer's went High-Tech! Dial up was replaced with high speed Broadband and a new phenomenon was born..."Video Stream Technology"! Now,instead of just talking to each other in a Chat Box,people could SEE each other as well! at first it wasn't perfected,the video imaging was choppy and not very lifelike.
Then..Vid Streaming got more perfected! and high-definition Web Cams became available!
With so many people fearful of contracting AIDS and other nasty STD's,people began "Mutual masturbation" on their new high performance webcameras!
Today,This has become a kind of "New Sex Of The Millenia" with high speed Video Streaming programs like ICUII and ISPQ vid chat services. Now there is SKYPE and Yahoo with Voice..wich is the closest thing we have to a "Video-Phone Call".
Hey! Pretty COOL Huh? why bother with a porn tape or that old ragged Playboy Mag while masturbating? Now you can go online and speak(No Typing in a box!) to another person and masturbate LIVE with them!(hands-free..Pun Intended!)
What are your thoughts on "Live Camsex"? good thing or a bad thing?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 4 replies

Pants

AJCG — Fri, 24 Jun 2005 16:18:43 GMT

Is there a diff between gay men and str8 with pants? Loads of my str8 mates all have what I consider f*&king horrible ones... Old gray boxers etc....

posted in A Guide to being Male - 19 replies

Does this happen to you?

Penguin, Emperor variety — Fri, 30 Dec 2005 21:44:46 GMT

I was thinking I was being affected by allergies. But today I realized my penis has been shrivelled all day. I realized, I'm getting sick.

Does this happen to you guys? What about getting sick makes the penis shrivel? It's happened before, too. It's one way I always know that I AM sick.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 8 replies

Shocked

Penguin, Emperor variety — Sun, 26 Jun 2005 05:53:20 GMT

I've been reading stories at solotouch.com, including ones of MM masturbation. I was shocked at one about a young boy on holiday with his dad and was awoken by his dad jerking off. When his dad realized he'd been found out, he invited his son to join him. Soon they were jerking each other. They guy hoped it would happen again. Then I looked a bit and saw a few other stories about sons and dads. I didn't read them as the thought of doing so with my father makes me want to slit my wrists.

But not condeming the act (I simply can't stand my father) it made me wonder if this was a common thing. Have any of you ever had an experience of this sort?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 14 replies

cockrings

TheNewt — Tue, 13 Dec 2005 13:57:17 GMT

anyone here own/enjoy using them?

I've got two leather ones (one has a ball seperator, the other one is a plain leather strap) and a set of metal ones where I just use only one of them.

I tried out some neoprene ones my friend had and they were pretty interesting as well.

Also, what's the best way to clean a metal one?
Is boiling it ok, even if it's plated with nickel?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 7 replies

Nancy Friday's 'Men in love'.

TheNewt — Thu, 19 Jan 2006 05:46:08 GMT

Anyone here ever read Nancy Friday's book 'men in love'?
It's a book all about men's sexual fantasies and it's a follow up to her book about women's sexual fantasies called 'my secret garden'.

Here's the link to it on amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385333420/qid=1137646078/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-0941509-5042223?n=507846&s=books&v=glance

I've only read parts of it and even if it is rather dated since she seems to be into Freudian ideals/concepts it was still a good insight into how the human brain is the most powerful sex organ ever.

Some of the fantasies in the book were rather unique though and I did skip over the chapter titled Starry Eyed Oedipus.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 4 replies

Dealing with a breakup..

salvatore — Tue, 02 May 2006 17:45:10 GMT

Anybody have any strategies they want to share on dealing with a breakup and all the emotions that come with it?

posted in A Guide to being Male - 3 replies

Kinsey Scale

TheNewt — Thu, 30 Jun 2005 07:34:59 GMT

how do you all rate on it?

I'd be a 1.
I have the actual male/female studies so I'll type out the info for the scale when I get time.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 46 replies

Coachella or Bust

hayden — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 11:08:52 GMT

Anyone heading to Coachella this weekend. Just wanted to know if any other family members were going to be there or at any of the parties in Palm Springs on Saturday night???

Hayden

posted in A Guide to being Male - 0 replies

Male bonding

Penguin, Emperor variety — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 17:02:48 GMT

Good ole' male bonding. I'm wondering, does it really exist as a totally hetero activity or is it an excuse to explore some bi feelings? I can't really answer it as a bi male. I'd use that label as an excuse to talk to other guys I liked about intimate things. Late-night talks about women, jerking, politics and beer.

posted in A Guide to being Male - 18 replies